


How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes

by nathaylee



Series: Homestuck College AU [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, College AU, Collegestuck, F/M, Jadekat - Freeform, One Shot, Rom Coms, Sollux you asshole, Swearing, ending intentionally ambiguous, foul mouthedness, how to lose a guy in ten days, i mean it IS a rom com we all know to expect happy endings anyway, no real spoilers for the mentioned film, oh yeah, one sided feelings, poor Karkat and his feelings, swears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 14:55:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathaylee/pseuds/nathaylee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade sits Karkat down for movie night. But little does she know that Karkat's harbouring a few more feelings than expected...<br/>---<br/>This takes place in the first year of Violasarecool's and my Collegestuck AU. This is probably a one-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Lose a Girl in Ten Minutes

"Is this actually a good movie or did John recommend it? I don't want to waste my precious time on any of his horseshit," Karkat grumbled. He fiddled with the fringe of the blanket.

Jade looked back at him over her shoulder, kneeling in front of the DVD player. "Both, if I'm to believe Aradia," she replied. "Dave was being all 'it was ironic pfft what McConaughey' but Aradia tells it like it is."

He glared silently.

"You know it's true! Plus it's a romcom! You'll be fine." Jade jumped to her feet and sauntered back to the couch, curling up on the opposite end. The large red blanket sprawled on the sofa between them. "Ugh, Karkat, grab the remote, will you?"

"Why should I?" he smirked. It was an oddly Dave-like response.

"Because you're closer?" Jade tried her best puppydog eyes. They sometimes even worked on Rose.

"Ugh, fine..." he groaned, leaning off the couch precariously to try and reach it without getting up. He lost his balance for a moment, flailed for a handhold, and grabbed the remote before sliding slowly off the edge. Jade just blinked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter.

Karkat glared for as long as he could, until he broke into a quiet chuckle.

"Oh my god, you're actually laughing! Where did you put the real Karkat again? You're clearly a cyborg!"

Karkat openly grinned. "Whatever Harley, let's just watch the movie." He settled back on to the couch.

"Right. How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days."

"Are you sure you don't want snacks or--?"

"Just shut up and watch the movie, Karkat."

\---

"Come on!" It was only twenty minutes in, but he just couldn't keep quiet. "She's way too smart for him! And he's just an insufferable prick! I mean, come on! Diamonds?"

Jade laughed. "Yeah, he seems pretty arrogant...but I bet you anything that you'll think they're in love by the end of the movie!"

"Yeah, whatever," Karkat snorted, "We'll see about that. But come on, you don't think diamonds matter that much to women, do you?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course not!" she scoffed. "It's a movie! It's not realistic! But he was probably putting on a ladykiller facade so his boss would think he was tough! Boys are dumb like that."

"Thanks, Jade."

"No problemo, buddy bear."

"Never call me buddy again. Or bear. Ever."

\---

McConaughey smiled and laughed and frowned, and the denouement of the film began.

"He's riding a motorcycle like that? What the fuck?"

"Yeah, he's broken at least fifteen traffic laws," mused Jade.

"He should be dead, honestly," he groaned. They quietened for a moment as the lovers embraced. 

"Did I win?"

"What?" Karkat didn't take his eyes off the screen.

"The bet. Do you think they were in love?"

"Uh..." he stammered, "well, not as such, after all that shit with the...okay, fine, yeah. It was good, alright?"

"I believe the bet was for 'anything'?" She was looking at him and her eyes were green and she was fucking smirking and one of her eyebrows quirked up. _Shit._ "Karkat? You okay?" _Goddammit just fucking kiss her._ But his face was frozen and he must look fucking ridiculous _just kiss her_ and she was right fucking there _was that thudding his heartbeat_ but he couldn't.

"Jade--"

"KK, JJ, sup." Apparently the banging was Sollux on the basement stairs. _Prick._ He strolled into the room, coffee cup in hand. "Just came upstairs to refuel. What did you guys watch?"

"How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days! It was pretty good!"

"Oh, I think I heard Dave say some shit about that...that guy's in it, McConaughey or something?" Sollux twisted his legs up into a pretzel as he sat in the ugliest chair in the living room. _Fucker deserves the back pain._

"Yep! Romcom, just for Karkat." She shot a sly grin his way, and he groaned internally as something in the region of his kidneys swooped. _Fuck._ "Actually, for a movie John recommended, it was a solid eight out of ten from me!"

"I'd give it a six. Maybe." Karkat's voice was gravelly.

"You okay?" Sollux frowned. "You sound like you're coming down with something."

Jade. "I'm fine. I'll just get a glass of water." When he left the room, Sollux and Jade exchanged looks.

"Is he actually okay?"

Jade grimaced. "I don't know."

In the kitchen, Karkat leaned heavily on the counter. _I'll be fine. Don't be a fucking sap, Vantas. Jesus._


End file.
